today was quite eventful. . .

my head is still spinning from all that has happened.

can't really talk about it, but to say the least, i'm quite confused.

in order to get that all out of my head, i went to cyberzone with david. i finally beat the "happy" expert course on iidx 4th style (higher, mr. t (take me higher), hitch hiker 2, starmine, jive into the night) and i'm on takumei on the happo course in initial d. todays endevour to cyberzone was quite fruitful.

now, i plan to lay in bed and think about what happened. hopefully, my mind will bring the pieces together, and i can see through this.

yes, this was my first thanksgiving away from family. it kinda sucks, but meh.

on wednesday, i head over to cyberzone, and hung out with vanessa and zack. after beating the last guy on the akina initial d course and getting about halfway through jive into the night on the expert course on iidx, me and zack head back to his house for some eats. after some kingdom hearts and beatmania iidx, it's like 2 in the morning so we decided it would be better if i just crashed at his place. after his cat attacked my face in the middle of the night, i got some sleep in. hung out at his place until like 2 pm, when his mom packed me some thanksgiving goods and i came back to my place.

yeah, i hung around here all day. did nothing really exciting. that's just about it.

things i miss this thanksgiving:
my family
my el paso friends
a warm living area
ham
stuffing

but i guess that will make me more thankful for them when i do recieve them, no?

hope all of you have a more eventful thanksgiving than i did.

What sucks is that the moment I got back from my calculus exam, my internet was down. . . and I thought it would only take like 10 mins (like it usually does). . .

yet it didn't. I had to complain to them in order to get it back up, and now, it works. Yea.

Uh, my two exams were actually kinda decent. Computer Science II was a breeze (as it always is), but i'm kinda unsure about calculus.

Yeah, now. . . I get to start my Thanksgiving break (I'm ditching my problem section for Calculus because I just don't feel like going). Off to cyberzone, I believe?

two things this morning. . .

- it's freakin' cold, and i don't want to leave my room
- i think my calculus test is going to have my butt-hole for its pleasure.

that is all

checklist of things i need to do today:
- study calculus until my eyes bleed
- get through answering all the questions on the exploration of the arts review sheet
- eat
- go over computer science chapters for test tomorrow
- study calculus again

it's what, noon now? that gives me, about 12 hours to get this stuff done.

time to get started. . .

gah. well, i actually got the guts to go up and talk to the girl that sits in front of me in computer science. we carried on a quick convo, and then i was like "hey, wanna grab lunch at the student union?" and she was like "sure, why not."

so we walk over the student untion, and she sits down at a booth. i put down my bag, and i'm like "ok, letme grab lunch really quick, i'll be right back." and i go get two lunches. . .

. . . and she's gone.

i just kinda stood there in disbelief, then ate the two lunches (because i'm not gonna waste it).

so yeah, i go to the arcade, and like, i had fun. i met a new girl, vanessa. quite cool, a sophomore who was asking a lot of questions about college and the such. i was quite happy to help her, and it felt good to help guide somebody to future goals of school and the such. =D

so today, i guess i broke even, but i feel good.

oh oh oh, even cooler, erin came and visited joe. like, yeah, she went to our high school with us, and it was quite cool to see her again. ^_^

so tonight, i go to bed happy. . . well, atleast i'm content. yes, indeed.

i can never seem to do it.

i sit behind her everyday i have class. i see the back of her head. i see what she is wearing. i can tell when she is bored.

but i can't go up to her and introduce myself.

i almost did it today, swear to god. i mean, right when class ended, i got up and started walking towards her, but when i got to about ten feet away, somebody else came up to her and started talking to her.

that is when i decided now would be a bad time to introduce myself.

so i just turned around and walked away.

i don't even know the name of this girl, yet i seem so facinated by her. . . it's weird.

i feel like such a wimp.

hmm, i changed my comment system over to haloscan, because yaccs is terribly slow.

it's not like anybody leaves comments or anything anyways.

well, except rachael. =D

don't you ever have one of those mornings in which you question everything?

like why am i even getting up?
why am i here at college?
should i even bother with this?
can i graduate?
am i ever going to find a signifigant other?
is what i'm doing right for me?

....

*drags himself to Exploration of the Arts class*

hmm, lots of stuff i need to do, get done, and move on in life with

- catch up in calculus
- read sporre for exploration of the arts
- pay rent before i forget to (again)
- talk to jw about qrunqfest this weekend
- get groceries
- clean up the mess i made on the stove
- see about plans with naman, jennifer, and jasmine for friday afternoon
- study for computer science exam
- study for calculus exam

not too big of a list, but a list none the less. calculus is gonna take up the bulk of my time too, seeing that i'm approx. 3 sections behind, and most work in there is approx. 40~50 questions each night? yeah. . . i'm in for a world of hurt tonight if i can't get most of this stuff (mostly exploration of the arts) done.

side note: anybody from the dallas area, out at ut arlington, they are having a free showing of ringu (the original japanese version of the ring). it's on the 26th at 7 pm at the rosebud theater. leave a comment or something if you want more details.

Ryan atUTD: i need to get a job soon
KiwiCookie: jobs are gay
KiwiCookie: i mean
KiwiCookie: cool
KiwiCookie: =O

yes, uta is so fresh.

dave picked me up after watching a movie at the magnolia and drove out to uta. took a while, but we got there around. . . 7:30? got to see the neo geo cabinet, then headed over to the anime uta deal. saw rachael, and was like "yeah, we'll meet you later to go see the rocky horror picture show." but then the other dave (aka dj baker) shows up, and we are like "um, ok" and he played a lot of neo geo, and by the time we were supposed to go to see rocky, baker was still there. he didn't want to go to see rocky, but also didn't want to leave. so, me and dave ended up not going, which made me sad.

uta's dorm rooms @ arlington hall are cool, except they don't have a kitchen, or cool bathrooms like we do at utd. but, however, they are also have the problems of thin walls. they also get little magnetic key things that are for doors and that's cool. XD

i know for sure that i can keep a b average for the semester, but if i work hard, i think i can get an a-. and that would be cool to come home and have an a- and the such.

yeah, plans for qrunqfest going down about now. . . but details are quite shaky right now.

and yeah, people iming me. only one person i really want to talk to, though. . .

*minimizes other people's im windows*

today was quite different than the normal, which was cool for a change of pace.

after both calculus and my intro to college class, i walked over to the info depot with naman, jennifer, and jasmine, all people from my intro to college class. after picking up a few tickets to go see zack maloy play, we walked over to the comet cafe for some good eats. the stupid cashier charged the cost of my food along with naman's, but he was cool with that. much hilarity ensued, as we spent the next hour and a half talking about random stuff. i actually feel connected to people that live outside the campus. plans for fun stuff to occur next friday are in the works.

after that, david and i head out to cyberzone for some initial d arcade stage and beatmania IIDX action. ash said she would show up at about 3~3:30, but instead showed up around the time i was leaving with her friends (including stephie), which made me sad because i couldn't hang out with them for long.

hmmm, after that, i sat around for a bit, then headed over to lauren's apartment to hang out, and she was there with will and her nano friends. i hung around there, mostly just getting in the way of their progress, but they didn't seem to mind too much.

so yeah, now i'm here. it looks like another sleepless night for me, as i can't seem to get any anymore. it's like, i'm completely out of whack or something. i dunno.

in other news, it looks like am going to ushicon, where i shall bring some knowledge of asian films. . . and that's it.

==== (from the mood test at colorgenics.com) ====

You have always been on the move seeking affectionate, satisfying and harmonious relationships. Your ultimate goal has been the realization of an intimate union in which there could be love, self-sacrifice and mutual trust. It has often been said that 'True love is just around the corner' and - if you haven't found it as yet - you possibly soon will.

The way things are you are under considerable stress and you feel that there is little hope of matters righting themselves. Everyone about you seems to aggravate the problem even more. You feel that at this time you need to be alone and you are right - move back and give yourself a chance to breathe.

At times one is burdened with more than one's fair share of problems and this would appear to be your situation at present. But you are adamant - you know what you wish to achieve - and by giving a little and taking a little you may well find that the realization of your dreams could become a reality.

For whatever the reason, you find it extremely difficult to sustain relationships - that is to sustain them in the manner that you would wish. You are a very gentle sort of person, full of feeling, sensitivity and susceptible to love and affection, looking and longing for a partner with whom you can enjoy 'All things bright and beautiful' - someone with whom you can seek out the more esoteric things of life. But up to now this person has only existed in your imagination. You are very choosy, appreciative, refined and extremely artistic in temperament and it is your hope to seek others who will allow you to form and express your own taste and judgement and who at the same time may assist you in your intellectual or artistic growth.

You are inclined to be too trusting and you feel that you need to be on your guard against the possibility that your endeavors and actions may be misunderstood. Too often you have been taken advantage of and you have been mentally abused. Now you are seeking a relationship which can provide peace of mind, where you can be yourself and not have the need to put on a false front.

You are completely worn out and you are not in the mood for any further demands on your resources. The situation - such as it is - has rendered you quite helpless, unable to continue the mental battle that you have been pursuing for some considerable time. Enough is enough. All you would like to do now would be to have some time for yourself, to find a peaceful situation where you can recuperate in your own time.

yeah, i decided to drop my us history class in favor of keeping my gpa high. the way i see it, i can take it again over summer school, make up the credit hours needed for the year, and all shall be dandy.

i spent the last thirty mins trying to plot the rest of my college carreer, though. i wanted to avoid taking classes back to back, but it looks quite inevitable with humanities and calculus ii only being avaliable next to each other if i want my schedule to actually work with my classes. . .

planned courses for next semester:

lectures
mwf, 10 - 10:50 :: calculus II
mwf, 11 - 11:50 :: intro to humanities
tr, 11 - 12:15 :: physics: mechanics and heat
tr, 2 - 3:15 :: rhetoric

labs/problem sections
m, 2 - 4:45 :: physics lab for mechanics and heat
w, 2 - 4:45 :: calculus II problem section
f, 1 - 3 :: physics exams (when needed)

hour courseload: 14

any thoughts? concerns? maybe?

Gah. I forgot to set my alarm last night, and I woke up just in time to be late to my second class, so i decided to forget about it, take a shower, eat, and sit around until my third class today.

Luckly, the other two classes don't take attendance, but I kinda stand out in both of the classes, so yeah.

I got to remember to set my alarm more often.

(stolen from ash)

Two songs that make you happy:
3 Nin Matsuri - Chu! Natsu Party
Stealth - Love, Life, and Happiness

Two songs that make you cry:
Coldplay - In My Place
Boxcar Racer - I Feel So

Two songs that remind you of love:
SES - Cause I'm Your Girl
Sugar Ray - Answer the Phone

Two songs that remind you of you:
Prozzak - www.NeverGetOverYou
Mighty Mighty Bosstones - The Impression That I Get

Two songs that make you ponder life:
The Offspring - Have You Ever
Smash Mouth - Let's Rock

Two songs you like but are ashamed to admit:
Venga Boys - Boom Boom Boom Boom
Eminem - Without Me

Two songs for dancing:
Jenny Rom - www.BlondeGirl
Ian Van Dahl - Castles in the Sky

Two songs to be played at your wedding:
That Thing You Do (you know, from the movie)
Dave Matthews - Crash Into Me

Two songs to be played at your funeral:
Chopin - Revolutionary Etude
Vivaldi - Four Seasons, Winter

Two songs to be played really loudly:
screw only two songs, i'm making a list
Naoki - B4U
Chemical Brothers - Block Rockin' Beats
Propellerheads/Jungle Bros - Take California
Aphrodite - The Bomber Style
DJ Energy - Waves of Desire
Prodigy - Smack My Bitch Up
E-Logik - Run To Me
Wildside - I Wanna See The Sun (Speed Mix)
Niko - Night Of Fire
LED - The Strong Jaeger
dj TAKA feat. Jasmine - Final Count Down (MTO Cry Baby Style)

Two songs to help you sleep:
Tsuneo Imahori - Suna no Hoshi (Sandy Planet)
Togo Project Feat. Sana - jelly kiss

i found this very intresting. . . (taken from The Toilet's Guide to Abstinence)

9. Become a nice caring person.
Nothing screams "Don't sleep with me!" like the guy who listens to what girls have to say, and cares about how they're feeling. It isn't enough to simply "not ride a motorcycle" and "not act like a total asshole" and "not sleep with her sister when she's pregnant with your baby". You need to go that extra mile. You need to compliment her occasionally, give her hugs when she's feeling down, pay attention to her mindless bitching about god-only-knows-what, and geniunely respect her as a person and not just as a place to stick your thing in. She will instantly lose all interest in you.

I guess it's true, no?

what do i do instead of writing my paper?

take silly pictures of myself

gah. can't. . . get this damn paper written. it's freakin' horrible.

i know what i want to write about, and i know the subject matter (somewhat)

i just can't write tonight.

i tried for like 3 hours to get it started, gave up in frustration and decided to go hang out at genroku with baker, jw, tim, baker's friend, and tim's friend. then jw, tim, tim's friend, and i went to play some ddr/gituar freaks/drummania/pump it up/para para paradise 1st mix plus at main event plano. blew a couple hours (and 10 bucks) there.

now i'm here. and i still can't write.

i don't want to put it off till tomorrow, because that will only give me 2 days to write it (sunday and monday), so yeah. not good.

i'm gonna try the computer science stuff right now, and if i can get that done, atleast that will be one less thing to worry about.

yeah, today was one of those days in which i woke up thinking it would be just a normal friday, but it wasn't, and that is what made today so cool. ^__^

well, after dozing off a few times in calculus (sorry prof. lewis!), i tried to help susanne with her pre-cal stuff before her test, and i went to my "welcome to college" rhetoric class. from there, however, the day took a drastic u-turn from the norm. i went to go do an improv workshop for my exploration of the arts class when i run into lauren. it was like amazing, and that improv session was quite fun. me and lauren talked about varoius junk as we walked around in search for food after the first workshop, she went back to do her second workshop while i had returned back to my dorm room.

then, i borrowed sam's webcam and had a nice chat with holli. that was quite entertaining, and i have no clue as to how i would have filled the void of my afternoon. no, nothing dirty happened you pervs. i like chatting with holli, she's my new friend from san antonio. she's badass. ^__^

well, after eating some quick ramen, i headed out to see the university production of a clockwork orange with laruen. i thought it was great, while lauren walked away with mixed feelings; she felt that the play was well put together, the acting was great, it was just the script/background info that made the play not enjoyable for her. i agree with her, especially when she says that they needed to complete what they start; the play had a huge plot towards the evil of the government, but that plot kinda stopped, and at the end there is this odd monologue (i think that's right. . . ) about a completely different topic. i did not notice this until lauren brought it up, and now while i sit here in front of my computer, i'm like "yeah, she's right."

so yeah. that's my wacked up friday. hmm . . tomorrow i must start my paper on a clockwork orange, and i'm thinking about going to get a copy of the movie and watching it for enjoyment or something. ja.

i love mornings before i get up.

i don't have to be anywhere,

i don't have to think about how i hate my classes,

i don't have to think about how my life is going nowhere. . . .

for just a few minutes, everything is good.

Woo~ 87 on my US History test. Now it looks like I might actually pass that class. =O

Uh, nothing much happening, just the ritual of waking up to bemani music playing on my laptop, taking a shower, eating breakfast, class, eat lunch, class, talk on web/dinner/homework, then sleep.

And to think, I have been doing that for 2 1/2 months, and have 1 more month until winter break.

Ok. Computer Science time. I've been putting that off for. . . atleast 2 hours now. I need to do it. . . yes. . .

1. You are attracted to those who are elegant and well-mannered.

2. In the process of courtship, the approach that would make you
feel irresistable is straight-forward, just tell you he/she
loves you.

3. The impression you would like to give to your lover is loyal,
faithful, never change.

4. You don't like it when your partner is emotional and/or too
moody; and you don't know how to please him/her.

5. The kind of relationship you would like to build with your
partner is one that you care not only about the present but
also the future with your partner, a long-lasting relationship
that you can grow with.

6. You care about the society and morality, you won't do anything
wrong after marriage.

7. You think of marriage as a precious thing. Once you get married,
you'll treasure it and your partner very much.

8. At this moment, you don't have the thirst for love, you can't do
anything for it, you won't fall for it easily.

[ taken from the love test ]

More proof that Martha Stewart is evil:

Just a pic of me and my best friend tara at the Galleria Tilt during Scarefest.

Ok, I promised myself I'd be in bed a few hours ago. . . but I can't seem to sleep. Oh well.

Ok, spent the last weekend at another DDR tournament in Houston. Quite. . . fun?

Friday
After class, I went back to my room to pack, and then proceed to wait until 8:00. Aaron, Aimee, and Zack are all piled in Aaron's car, and we drive down to Houston. Various conversations take place, hilarity ensues in seeing the back of a truck with Spanish on the back and the "holic" building. After some quick food at Denny's, the gang proceeds to head to Stargate, where we run into Pyrex and his friends from Texarcana. Played a few games of DDR Max2 and whatnot. Then we swung by U of H where we went to David (aka Sainochi) / Walter's place to pick up some of Aimee's gear she had left there. Kinda makes me appreciate my large apartment that I got instead of the dorms that they have at U of H. Watched Geno get owned at Counter-Strike numerous times, played a little IIDX, then proceeded to Matt and Giselle's place. There were kind enough to let us stay there the weekend, which was really cool. I kinda just plopped down onto the couch and fell asleep.

Saturday
Woke up, took a quick shower, got dressed, and headed to the Houston Galleria for some DDR action. Signed up, played games, ate food, saw again/met a lot of people. Twas overall fun. Some awesome freestyles went down (especially for Dave). Me and Walter had a bit of a tussle (again), and Aimee decided to stand up for me. That is when I decided that I shouldn't go down to Houston anymore, becaues it seems that I always get involved in drama unfolding. Tara swung by and said hi to everybody, and I took her out shopping at the Sanario store there; I bought her a cute backpack that matched the wallet she had bought earlier in return for buying me numerous stuff on prevous trips. After the tourney finished, Aaron, Aimee, Zack, and I went to starbucks for a quick drink, and then this wings place that was -really- good, and then back to Matt and Giselle's for some sleep.

Sunday
Woke up, piled into the car and headed back up to Dallas. It was raining very hard, and I was getting quite nervous about it, so I tried to sleep the whole way up. Zack got dropped off at home first due to that he had to go to work. Aaron, Aimee, and I then go to Aaron's place, hang out a little, then come back to my apartment. Driving around, we just start laughing at random stuff. We also decided that we need to make movies.

Was the trip worth it? Mostly

Was the trip fun? Mostly

Now, a lot of school work to catch up on (especially in Calculus). Ja!