7.30.2002

working and working and working~

*sigh*

i'm looking forward to college, mainly orientation and hanging out with zack and stuff. moving in is a freakin' hard mofo, because i have to buy all this crap for my room, including (but not limited to):

> bed
> chair
> lamp
> pots/pans
> silverwear/plates/cups/bowls
> -maybe- a tv?
> laundry detergent/dryer sheets

...anybody wanna help me think of other stuff i need to get? i'd highly appreciate it. ^_^

this college boy working more, so no more fun time for me. =/ but i guess that is what RSM and VV are for (ahem Zack. ^_^v)

countdown: 12 days. ( !!! )

7.29.2002

AnGeLxKP signed off at 8:37:53 PM.
AnGeLxKP signed on at 8:39:27 PM.
KimCiCLe Prex DX: enjoyed aol kicking you?
KimCiCLe Prex DX: ^_^
AnGeLxKP: ueah
AnGeLxKP: growl
KimCiCLe Prex DX: *kicks AOL leaders for sarah*
AnGeLxKP: hahahahhahaha yaaaaahh
KimCiCLe Prex DX: does that make me sarah's hero? (next to god)
AnGeLxKP: YES
KimCiCLe Prex DX: :-)
KimCiCLe Prex DX: woo.
KimCiCLe Prex DX: new quote to go into my info!~~~
KimCiCLe Prex DX: better yet..
KimCiCLe Prex DX: blogger
KimCiCLe Prex DX: XD
AnGeLxKP: hahahha
AnGeLxKP: indeed
AnGeLxKP: Dexter is my hero!!!!!
AnGeLxKP: [But God was my first hero.. and he'll be my last... sorry Dex]

7.28.2002

hmm, my summer was awefully boring compaired to other summers. my weekday would consist of
-waking up
-taking a shower
-eating food
-getting on laptop
-going to work
-eating dinner
-sleeping

every day. and yet i don't have any cash. =/ fun things that happened this summer:
-hax'fest
-4th of july weekend with daniel
-austin powers: goldmember with garett and frank
-passing maxx unlimited on extra stage (most people won't understand that one)
-staying up to watch korea play in the world cup

cha. time to get ready for church and the such.

countdown: 15 days (including today)

7.27.2002





You are a stock Civic Si. You're fun loving and rambunctious, yes you are. You make decisions quickly and execute them even quicker. However, somewhere in the back of your mind you're worrying about mundane, sometimes trivial, things... it's not expected of a person like you, and it's actually kind of refreshing.



which honda are you? | visit high mileage
why won't the torment go away?

spent 3 hours last night on top of my house, contemplating whether to jump or not. just one of those times you question your purpose if life. as one person in this huge ass world, i don't think me missing would make too much of a difference. but the other way of thinking about it is that everything you do affects others in one way or another (like in the movie run lola run) and with me missing, a profound effect will occur to people, and experiences will be missing.

i dunno. my mind is just being ripped apart by these thoughts.

countdown: 16 days

7.26.2002

sometimes
i wish i was brave
i wish i was stronger
i wish i could feel no pain
i wish i was young
i wish i was shy
i wish i was honest
i wish i was you not i

'cause
i feel so mad
i feel so angry
i feel so callous
so lost, confused, just mad
i feel so cheap
so used, unfaithful
let's start over
let's start over

sometimes
i wish i was smart
I wish i made cures for
how people are
i wish i had power
i wish i could lead
i wish i could change the world
for you and me

'cause
i feel so mad
i feel so angry
i feel so callous
so lost, confused, just mad
i feel so cheap
so used, unfaithful
let's start over
let's start over
college woes

i had orientation week all set up and the such, and it looked like it was gonna work out.
fly in: 11
orientation: 12 - 13
comet camp: 14-16
bemani meltdown: 16-17
move into dorm: 18
classes start: 26

but now, my mom wants me to fly back either on the 13th or 14th, skip comet camp, then fly back to dallas on the 20th with her to buy various crap for my dorm room. i'm thinking it would cost a whole lot less if i didn't have to keep flying back and forth from el paso, but i also really wanted to go to bemani meltdown ><

and it turns out that the residental life office at UTD never got my housing application! fun!

augh. if preparing for college is this hard...gawd, i don't want to think about college then.
wow, like, goldmember has to be the best movie i've seen this summer (well, not as good as spiderman, but you get the idea). it was kinda funny, because i had just played a few games of ddr at the mall, and was heading out when i ran into garett and frank. they were gonna go see the 10:30 showing of austin powers, so i decided why not, gave my mom a call, and went to go see it. great movie.

oh, i also tried that new pepsi blue fushion stuff. pepsi + berry flavoring + blue color isn't all that great, but because it's new, i hafta be a corporate whore and say that it is great.

time for a new countdown...countdown till ryan leaves el paso for dallas for college. yea~

countdown: 17 days (counting today because it just started)

7.25.2002

how much love is there?

is it wrong that i love someone with such intense feelings, yet they might not love me as much back?

i was up all night contemplating this daunting deal, for maybe such love is irrational.

maybe i'm just being silly, should just ignore the feelings, and try to even out the field with her feelings for me. . .

or should i just accept the fact that love is love, and despite it's quantity, depend on it's quality?

7.24.2002

i still don’t get my mom

i awoke at 2:30 am last night to hear my mom yelling at me. trying to talk to her just resulted in a 30 minute scream-fest at me about how i wrecked her credit. surprisingly, however, she was able to buy my older sister a brand new car with this so called “bad credit.” the reason the bad credit is my fault is because I was visiting a friend, and when we were driving around the dallas area, we get into a car accident. coming back home from it, i thought that our life insurance would cover the cost, but as usual, dex got the short end: i was never included in our family’s policy. so, now she is determined that I find a way to get the 500 bill paid off through the insurance. my favorite quote of the night:

me: “how am i supposed to handle your credit? it’s not easy, i’m only fuckin 18!!”
mom: “you idiot, credit is as easy as a-b-c.”

*sigh* and now, she wakes me up at 7:30 and tells me that i need to go to work for her. . . AUGH. i’m gonna go, but knowing her, i’ll be there till 11:30 (when I need to be home at 11:00) and she won’t pay me for working. . .

the only thing that keeps me going is the fact that i will be out of here in less than a month. . .

7.23.2002

it's just one of those days
where ya don't wanna wake up
everything is fucked, everybody sucks.
you don't really know why
but you wanna justify rippin' someone's head off
no human contact
and if you interact your life is on contract
your best bet is to stay away mother fucker
it's just one of those days

it's all about the he said she said bullshit
i think you better quit lettin' shit slip
or you'll be leavin with a fat lip
it's all about the he said she said bullshit
i think you better quit talkin' that shit

it's just one of those days
feelin' like a freight train
first one to complain
leaves with a blood stain
damn right I'm a maniac
you better watch your back
cuz I'm fuckin' up your program
and if you're stuck up
you just lucked up
next in line to get fucked up
your best bet is to stay away motherfucker
it's just one of those days

it's all about the he said she said bullshit.
i think you better quit lettin shit slip
or you'll be leavin with a fat lip
it's all about the he said she said bullshit
i think you better quit talkin that shit, punk
so come and get it

i feel like shit
my suggestion is to keep your distance
cuz right now i'm dangerous
we've all felt like shit
and been treated like shit
all those motherfuckers, they want to step up
i hope ya know
i pack a chainsaw
i'll skin your ass raw
and if my day keeps going this way
i just might break something tonight
give me something to break

i pack a chainsaw
i'll skin your ass raw
and if my day keeps going this way
i just might break your fuckin' face tonite

7.22.2002

ok. maybe it wasn't the end of it all. i could have been too hasty with the declaration that i was terminating my blog. at the time, however, i was having a hard time deciding who i was, what i was, and what to do with myself. a revelation that presented itself caused much turmoil in my life, and thus caused me to fall deeper into my problem. thinking about it, i decided that i must make face with what i now am, and the only way i feel the correct way to do it is through this medium. i've confided about this in at most 3 people, but now it shall be public knowledge. this is the only way i feel that i can continue to carry on conversations with people without the nagging feeling that i am hiding something from everyone.

and now, for the moment of truth.

i, ryan kim, am a manic depressant.

i have not told my mother or my family, in fear that they will use it to label me. i'm quite certain the words out of my mom's mouth once i tell her is "well, i told you something is wrong with you." this fact has torn me apart for the past few days, as i could not come to grips with the sudden change in me.

but, now after typing this out, i feel a bit better about it. for those of you that truly care about me, this doesn't change a thing a bit. and i hope it doesn't. and now that i've accepted this fact, i went through a rebirth of some sorts. so, i am back. tada.

7.18.2002

due to some recent events (past week or so), i've decided to stop my blog.

the main reason is that there is something i discovered about myself, and not mentioning it at all in my blog makes me feel like i'm using a fake fasade everytime i post. and this is something i'm still not confortable with, and i just can't continue living this lie out, acting like it's not there.

so, this is the end.

7.17.2002




yes, those are MORNING MUSUME cosplay pictures!! XD woo....gonna watch Renai Revolution 21 again.
well, today (well, in an hour or so), will be tara's 21st birthday. why is this so important to me?

because she is one of my true friends. she doesn't care about what i look like, or what i have. she cares about me, and that is the greatest feeling in the world. she's always there for me to lend an ear. i tell her some things that i don't even tell my family she's that close to me. i just love her so much, that there are not enough words in this world to explain it. whenever i get to talk to her, i just have this intense rush of feeling that make the world melt away, and for a while, i experience happiness. she was nice enough to put up with me for a whole weekend in houston for a ddr tourney, and to tell you the truth, i remember more about the experiences i had with tara rather than the tournament itself.

tara, you mean so much to me, that those words can't even compair to how much you do mean to me. and i wish i could be there to help you celebrate your 21th birthday. but alas, i am forced to rejoice through words. i hope you get got the present i sent you, and i hope you love it. i love you so much. <3

7.15.2002

just because i'm bored (cut and paste from sarah's blog)

? name: ryan (aka dexter/kimcicle) kim
? b-day: 5/17/84
? birthplace: st. mary's hospital, st. louis, missouri
? home now: el paso, texas
? height: 5'9"
? what were u doing 15 mins ago: sleeping
? what are u wearing now: my pjs
? whats ur magic number: 12?
? u smoke? no
? u drink: rarely
? u do drugs: no
? u shy or outgoing: i'm shy around people i don't know
? havin fun this summer: =/

f a v o r i t e s

? color: blue
? food: korean or italian
? snack: tostitoes hint of lime chips
? board game: risk, because if i started to lose, i'd scream out "blitzkreig!" and knock over the whole board.
? all-time song: i have a lot of songs that i like...
? current song: "waka laka" by jenny rom vs. the zippers
? rap song: um....i don't listen to rap.
? slow song: *shrugs* yet again, i prefer to stay away from slow songs
? dance song: heh. almost anything from ddr.
? white song: if you mean country...hmm...there you'll be?
? holiday: hmm..my birthday, if it counts.
? movie: i have a lot of favs, but my current list: run lola run, attack the gas station, minority report.
? movie star: i don't really have one, because i don't pay attention to who does what films and the such.
? magazine: maxim. because i'm a clueless guy that thinks reading such magazines will increase his chances of being "smooth with the ladies".
? tv show: easy. simpsons.
? season: winter.
? Disney character: i dunno.
? animal: cats
? drink: milkus (from korea) or pepsi
? cologne: i don't have a favorite, but i'm currenlty wearing "lucky you" by lucky brand
? brand of sneaker: nike
? activity: DDR
? fruit: apples
? juice: orange juice without pulp

l a s t t i m e y o u . . .

? shower: like, 15 mins ago.
? went runnin': not for a long time
? worked out: may? =/
? danced like a frickin idiot: hm...last saturday, when i played ddr.
? went to a movie: um. 4th of july, saw MIB2
? talked on the phone: i never use my phone b/c i lack phone skills
? lied: not for a while...
? got ass: ryan? getting ass?!?! HAHAHA. that's funny
? had fun: saturday, playing ddr.
? went to six flags: last summer, went to magic mountain los angeles.
? wished u were sumbody else: yesterday
? were depressed: ...next question please
? ate nerds: i don't even remember.

r e l a t i o n s h i p s

? do u have a lover? i wish.
? what is their name? ...
? how long is ur longest relationship? 9 months...i think?
? what is ur favorite thing to do with that special sumone: i have no clue, it's been too long
? what is the best present u've gotten from sumone? umm....i dunno. does letting somebody crash at your apartment for 4 days count as a present?
? what one quality do u like best in the opposite sex: the ability to listen.
? ever been in love? i hope so.
? who are ur best friends: this is the easiest part of the survey. tara, jennie, greg, tony, ryan, joe, and sam.
? what do u guys do for fun: first two, we talk online (heh, that's all we can do, besides enjoying some lollicup), and the rest we just play games online.
? do u have any good white friends: if you are talking about full-on white...tara and joe.
? who is ur oddest friend: tara. XD
? who is ur funniest friend: greg can be funny, sarah is halarious.
? who is ur happiest friend: tony tends to be happy all the time.
? who is ur most annoying friend: frank. but in a good way.
? who is always there for you: tara & greg. jennie's never online anymore ><

r a n d o m

? do u remember what u did last summer? heh. how could i forget. summer school, then fly to LA for sat school, then fly back for regular school.
? where would you love to travel to? korea, my homeland. wanna get in touch with my culture, and maybe discover who i am through visiting.
? whats ur middle name? edward
? is ur hair color natural? dark dark dark dark dark brown. almost black, but not quite there.
? do u have a cell phone? i wish. probably when i get to dallas.
? whats the number? n/a
? whats ur online screen name: i got a bunch. but the one i use the most is kimcicleprexdx
? what are ur thoughts on abortion? i feel that it is only a viable option when there is possible danger to the mother, child, or both.
? where do u wanna live when ur... 30? dallas, seattle, maybe la?
? what do u want for Christmas?: a plane ticket to houston. ^_^
? what do u want to do with your life?: to tell you the truth, i have no clue.
? last time u went bowling: long time ago. all the bowling alleys on my side of the town have been shut down. =/
? are u any good at bowling: very much so.
? last time u went to the doctor: ....last friday?
? do u have a credit card: well, my visa check card acts like a credit card, so i guess so.
? do u consider urself a "nice" person: i try to.
? do u love ur mom: sometimes.
? most attractive person: ....i dunno...*thinks of random maxim cover girl* jeri ryan
? last book: the sum of all fears...again.
? brand shampoo: pert plus
? are u stressed out? all the time.
? do u believe in angels? yes
? pacino or deniro? hmm....pachino
? is life better for people with u or without u: without. definately.
? ur feelings on McDonald's chicken nuggets: good for like 5 seconds.
? what was or is ur first car? 96 toyota corolla. green. automatic. it still sucks.
? what are u driving now? look above.
? u help pay for it? gas/insurance.
? do u think ur spoiled? i dunno. in some aspects, yes, but in others, no.
? do u like mustard? no.
? have u seen the exorcist? like a long time ago.
? how bout dumb & dumber? nope
? ever been skydiving? no
? any siblings? 2 sisters, one older, and one younger.
? what are their names? esther and kristen
? what are their age? esther = 19, kristen = 16.
? number of piercings: 0. i used to have an eyebrow piercing, though...
? tell us something that we didn't kno about u before: umm.......maybe now isn't the right time to talk about that.
? number of things in my past that I regret: too many to count.
? do u like this survey: it's decent. a few questions i don't like. but eh.

7.13.2002

me on a date?
is it possible?
did the planets finally align the right way?

....

nah, just got stood up.

countdown: 4 days.

7.12.2002

x laura palmer x (11:12:58 PM): just got back from the most horrible movie EVER
KimCiCLe Prex DX (11:13:06 PM): What movie?
x laura palmer x (11:13:15 PM): halloween resurrection
x laura palmer x (11:13:20 PM): good thing those tickets were free
KimCiCLe Prex DX (11:13:23 PM): lol.
KimCiCLe Prex DX (11:13:30 PM): anything that has to do with older movies (tends to suck..didn't quite finish)
x laura palmer x (11:13:30 PM): else i would have felt screwed
x laura palmer x (11:13:32 PM): oH WAIT
x laura palmer x (11:13:33 PM): I DO
KimCiCLe Prex DX (11:13:36 PM): LOL!
x laura palmer x (11:13:39 PM): the only reason i dont feel so bad is that
x laura palmer x (11:13:42 PM): i got a free poster
KimCiCLe Prex DX (11:13:45 PM): ah.
x laura palmer x (11:13:50 PM): which at the end of the movie i threw at the screen
x laura palmer x (11:13:54 PM): then i ripped another in half
KimCiCLe Prex DX (11:14:03 PM): lol.
KimCiCLe Prex DX (11:14:20 PM): this is going into the blog
KimCiCLe Prex DX (11:14:22 PM): ^_^
x laura palmer x (11:14:34 PM): its going into mine too :-)
x laura palmer x (11:14:42 PM): *copy and paste*

7.11.2002

countdown: 7 days.

she's out havin' fun with her friend from cali, instead of talking to me, but that's cool.

i'll just sit here and twiddle my thumbs.
i'm a loser baby, so why don't you kill me?

7.10.2002

heh. just got the movie attack the gas station in the mail. i say it was money damn well spent. i couldn't stop laughing. kinda dark comedy, but halarious.

DON'T MOVE, OR I'LL THROW IT!!!!!!

heh.

mom got mad at me again yesterday. i had to work late, so i got in at about 6:50, 10 mins before my mom got in. she then goes on a rampage about how dinner is not set, and how much of a dumbass i am for not starting the rice. she tells me to start cutting some ribs, and i do so, but then starts yelling about how i didn't do enough. i look down at the cutting board, seeing all the ribs seperated, and point that out to her. she gets even more pissed, runs to the freezer, brings out a new thing of ribs and goes off how i'm gonna end up as nothing in life because i can't do simple tasks...

yeah. =/ only thing that saved me from another catastrophic meltdown was attack the gas station

countdown: 8 days.

7.09.2002

omg. just realized something.

in 9 days, somebody is gonna have a birthday.

yea~ ^_^

so, countdown meter now going for something new!

7.08.2002

two funniest news stories ever.

==

Teenager gets licked in salt-eating contest

[New Delhi, July 5] - A teenager has come off second best (dead, in fact) after taking part in a salt-eating contest in India's eastern state of West Bengal.
Jiten Bhunia, 19, became ill after consuming a huge quantity of salt in the competition, which was held in Tamluk, 200km south of Calcutta.

He was admitted to hospital where he died, a police spokesperson, Sibdas Mukherjee, said. The competition, which attracted hundreds of villagers, was abandoned after Bhunia fell sick, he said.

"The villagers are reticent to tell us who organised the contest," Mukherjee said.

need proof?
===

Pet parrot saves owner from fire

HONGKONG - A Hongkong businessman was saved from being killed in a fire in his home when his parrot woke him up from his sleep.

Mr Heung Wah Bor, who is in the film-making business, was awakened early on Friday morning by his parrot's screams. Only then did he realise his bedroom was on fire.

When he could not activate his fire extinguisher, he had no choice but to escape from his apartment.

In his hurry, he did not take with him any of his belongings, including his parrot.

The poor bird was later found burnt to death, the Apple Daily reported.

The fire consumed the whole unit and police had to evacuate more than 30 residents in the building.

Mr Heung, who was sad dened by his parrot's death, said his pet had saved his life.

He later told the police that he lost more than HK$10 million (S$2.2 million) worth of assets, including antiques and share certificates.

In 2000, Mr Heung was arrested for setting fire to his bedroom door after his fiancee locked herself in the room following a dispute.

He was later acquitted of the charges.

need proof?
new template

yeah, i hope you like, it's because i fuxxed up my old one really hardcore and yeah. i'm an idiot.

i'm thinking about chuckin' this whole blog thing because nobody reads it anyways.

well, i'll figure it out soon.
BowlingShoes149 (10:48:37 PM): I feel like shit
KimCiCLe Prex DX (10:48:49 PM): aww. really? talk to me babe
KimCiCLe Prex DX (10:48:57 PM): what's wrong?
BowlingShoes149 (10:49:30 PM): I don't want to talk about it..
KimCiCLe Prex DX (10:49:36 PM): are you sure?
BowlingShoes149 (10:49:43 PM): Yeah.
KimCiCLe Prex DX (10:49:49 PM): well, ok then.
KimCiCLe Prex DX (10:49:53 PM): *huggles*
BowlingShoes149 (10:50:02 PM): ::hug::
KimCiCLe Prex DX (10:50:03 PM): just letting you know that i'm here for you.
BowlingShoes149 (10:50:07 PM): I know
KimCiCLe Prex DX (10:50:12 PM): here.
KimCiCLe Prex DX (10:50:17 PM): (915)585-1247
KimCiCLe Prex DX (10:50:22 PM): if you really need to talk
KimCiCLe Prex DX (10:50:25 PM): that's my home phone.
KimCiCLe Prex DX (10:50:35 PM): just for whenever.
BowlingShoes149 (10:50:39 PM): I can't call...
KimCiCLe Prex DX (10:50:44 PM): ...
KimCiCLe Prex DX (10:50:46 PM): =/
BowlingShoes149 (10:50:50 PM): Long distance
KimCiCLe Prex DX (10:51:16 PM): yeah...
KimCiCLe Prex DX (10:51:19 PM): hmm...
KimCiCLe Prex DX (10:51:33 PM): well, i'm being yelled
at to go to bed now


Auto response from BowlingShoes149 (10:51:34 PM):
Fuck off.

==
i can see now why nice guys finish last.

7.07.2002

wow, i never realized how much stuff i can do during a weekend. on the 5th, after sitting around the house all day, daniel, my sister, and i went to charbrollier for some quick eats then to bob-o's (a family entertainment place...go carts, bumper boats, miniature golf) to hang out. go carts were kinda fun half the time. the mini golf was actually kinda intresting seeing that me and daniel had kept scores that were really close to each other until the 17th hole. but until then, trash talk was flying all over the place, and esther would get mad because she would have a score about 20 strokes above me and daniel, and that we shouldn't be competing. heh. afterwards, a little Pump It Up action went down, got about 10 bucks in free tokens from the lady that works there, and got a few people into it. went home and slept the night away.

yesterday, hmm...did nothing all day. tried out that new "america's army" game because it's free. i can say it's kinda decent, but it's just pure propaganda to join the army and the such. hmm, then my older sister and i went to lunch with her two friends at tgi fridays. then, we end up going to a quinceneta (spelling on that?) at some dance hall. kinda ghettoish, because they refused to play good music. so, esther and i bailed early and went to bob-o's again. heh. she blew like 10 bucks on the ticket games while i spent no money by using the tokens i had left over from the day before.

so, up to speed, no? ok then. full speed ahead in this thing called life.

7.04.2002




because i can't code html right, the last one came out wrong.

oh dear. no good coding doesn't mean page is gonna turn out too good..
new webpage in the works.

here's a sneak preview:

for once in my life, instead of staying home and doing nothing, i actually went out and did stuff. weird huh?

my mom's friend's son was in town, so we hung out. although he's 22, he has the mentality of an 18 year old, so we go well together. first we decide to go grab some food at applebee's before going to see a movie. and damn, daniel was such a smooth talker. he was getting free crap from our waitress left and right! first it was free drinks, next free chips. wow. i really wish i was a smooth talker like he is. i just kinda sat there, staring at the table most of the time when she was around.

oh, and the movie we watched was MIB 2. Eh. It was decent. A sequel is never better than the original. But still a good movie to watch.

and that's my night on the town last night with my mom's friend's son daniel. actual human contact with strangers, eating food that i didn't come straight from a microwave, and watching a movie at the movie theatre. i did a lot.

7.02.2002

aZN little KaM (10:27:50 PM): time to do homework
aZN little KaM (10:27:56 PM): i havent started yet O:-)
aZN little KaM (10:27:57 PM): oopsie
KimCiCLe Prex DX (10:28:11 PM): lol~
KimCiCLe Prex DX (10:28:15 PM): it's 11:30 over there!
KimCiCLe Prex DX (10:28:22 PM): *shakes finger*
aZN little KaM (10:28:27 PM): haha yes i am perfectly aware of that
aZN little KaM (10:28:44 PM): *pushed ryans hand away* u know u dont want to scold me :-D
KimCiCLe Prex DX (10:28:54 PM): *sigh*
KimCiCLe Prex DX (10:28:56 PM): i know i can't
aZN little KaM (10:29:10 PM): haha
aZN little KaM (10:29:16 PM): im just kidding
KimCiCLe Prex DX (10:29:16 PM): but i still try
aZN little KaM (10:29:22 PM): alright time to go read about wwi
aZN little KaM (10:29:24 PM): *WWII
KimCiCLe Prex DX (10:29:41 PM): shoo~ go read and do well at summer school.
aZN little KaM signed off at 10:32:51 PM.
aZN little KaM signed on at 10:33:02 PM.
aZN little KaM (10:33:06 PM): oopsie
aZN little KaM (10:33:10 PM): forgot to say bai to ryan
aZN little KaM (10:33:14 PM): later yo :-P:-D

==

jennie is just too good to me.
i had what was probably the best dream i've ever had last night.

i spent the night dreaming that i was the all-american white kid. blonde hair, blue eyes. football jock. ect. and life just seemed so good to me then. everything was going my way.

then i had to wake up.

7.01.2002

woo..

*dances around* i got an actual letter.

in the real mail.

from a girl. ^_^ i knew it was coming, but eh. it's mail. real mail. ^_^
remember that song "if you're happy and you know it"?

i resented the intrusion of sing-alongs into my private emotional landscape.

what if i'm not happy? what if i didn't know it?

can i be excused to go ponder the lack of meaning in a life where personal sorrow is as common as juice breaks?

..or, as so often happens in a typical elementary school career, am i expected to pretend i'm happy and clap my damn hands anyways?

it's depressing



I'm just watching a bad dream I'd never wake up from.

Find out what anime bad boy you are.